THOUGHTS ON CIVIL SOCIETY
Marriage
The May/June "issue of American Enterprise is devoted to the premise, as editor Karl Zinsmeister puts it in his introductory essay, that, "Marriage is the cornerstone upon which most of the rest of our social order rests." Once this cornerstone begins to crumble, all of our remaining social institutions are bound to become shaky, too. "That's why marriage reclamation must precede other forms of societal reform," he writes.
One reason so many marriages are in trouble, argues film critic Michael Medved, is an ubiquitous but pernicious custom that "not only misleads individual couples, but also serves to undermine the best foundation for stable marriage in this society." This custom is known as the honeymoon.
"A union that emphasizes at its outset the shallow and fleeting pleasures of a few days in the sun," Medved argues, "cannot have the staying power of a partnership of common purpose, supported by similarly committed friends and family." Medved contrasts the modern honeymoon with the Jewish tradition of Sheva Berachos, and with the 19th-century marriages between pioneers celebrated in the Aaron Copland-Martha Graham ballet, Appalachian Spring. In both cases, rather than escaping to some exotic locale, the newlyweds are joyfully inducted into the community in which they intend to make their lives. "Instead of thoughtlessly accepting the idea that newlyweds need to be cut off from company, we all have a stake in promoting wedding traditions that connect couples to their communities," Medved concludes.
Another reason marriage is in trouble, argues sociologist Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, is that prominent feminist thinkers no longer believe that it is important. She quotes feminist Katha Pollitt, who contends that "[i]f single women can have sex, their own homes, the respect of friends, and interesting work, they don't need to tell themselves that any marriage is better than none. Why not have a child on one's own? Children are a joy. Many men are not."
But it turns out, Whitehead argues, that the big losers in any society that devalues marriage are women. "A society of more informal and easily dissoluble intimate unions, " she writes, "is a society where there is likely to be more male aggression against women--for crimes of violence against women are rooted mostly in male jealousy." The O.J. Simpson case was only "the most sensational" in a series of recent celebrity trials for battery and rape. As the American marriage takes on the characteristics of the American job--"short-term, contingent, subject to abrupt termination"--the occasions of "sexual rivalry, brinkmanship, and violence" are bound to increase, and the perennial war between the sexes will take on "a more aggressive, openly vengeful, and even violent edge."
Because churches and synagogues conduct three-quarters of all marriage ceremonies in the United States, they have a special obligation to help couples accomplish two goals, argues nationally syndicated columnist Michael McManus: "First, avoid a bad marriage before it begins. Second, learn to resolve conflicts that are inevitable."
Some churches and synagogues are rising to the challenge. Marriage Encounter, a lay movement that came out of Catholicism and now involves a dozen denominations, conducts weekend retreats led by couples with fulfilling marriages. Designed to help marriages that are under stress, Marriage Encounter has enjoyed phenomenal success. "Studies show that 80 to 90 percent" of the couples attending their weekend retreats "literally fall back in love."
To counsel engaged couples, David Olson, a family psychologist at the University of Minnesota, developed a "premarital inventory" called PREPARE. Consisting of 125 statements that the engaged man and woman are both asked to accept or dispute, PREPARE is easily administered by a pastor or mentoring couple. "Remarkably," writes McManus, "PREPARE predicts with 86 percent accuracy which couples will divorce, and with 80 percent accuracy who will have a good marriage. More importantly, 10 to 15 percent of those who take the test break off their engagements . . . avoiding a bad marriage before it begins."
Given these results, McManus concludes that any church can significantly reduce its members' divorce rate, provided that it thinks of itself as a marriage-saving institution rather than simply a "wedding factory." "Our churches need to involve themselves in preparing couples for life-long marriage, in strengthening existing marriages, and in saving unions headed for the rocks."
"It Takes a Marriage," American Enterprise, May/June 1996.
PRIVATIZATION COMPETITION AWARDS
The Pacific Research Institute for Public Policy (PRI), based in San Francisco, is a think tank that offers less costly, more efficient government with market-oriented solutions. On May 7, PRI hosted its fourth annual Privatization Competition Awards Dinner, honoring citizens and private organizations who have developed successful alternatives to government-managed social services in California. The nominees were judged by William D. Eggers of the Reason Foundation, Arianna Huffington of the Center for Effective Compassion, and Eloise Anderson, the director of California's Department of Social Services. A description of this year's five winners:
Chrysalis helps the homeless in Los Angeles find jobs by teaching job-hunting skills, offering assistance in writing resumes, videotaping mock interviews, teaching typing and word processing, and providing its clients with bus fare and work clothes for job interviews. Chrysalis places some individuals in need of job experience or temporary employment with a street maintenance company or employs them through its own temp agency. Since 1984, it has helped three thousand homeless (63 percent of the people it has served) find and retain jobs for at least 90 days. Chrysalis is 80 percent privately funded.
Redwood Gospel Mission on average serves 6,116 hot meals and provides 2,256 beds to the needy and homeless of Sonoma County each month. The Mission also provides food and clothes, prepares the homeless for job searches, and treats drug and alcohol addictions. It accepts no government money.
Challengers Boys & Girls Club is an after-school program that provides at-risk Los Angeles youth ages 6 to 17 with an alternative to crime and delinquency through education, leadership projects, physical education, and social activities. Challengers requires parent participation. It receives less than 20 percent of its budget from government sources.
Center for Black Concerns is a think tank that has assembled a resource bank of
educators, social workers, counselors, psychologists, and parole officers to address the needs and concerns of black people. Through Project Pride, the Center mentors minority students in danger of not completing school. The Center also operates a drug-free housing program for adult substance abusers. The Center does not receive any government funding.
4-H After-School Program provides 1,200 children in public housing with after-school activities at 23 sites throughout Los Angeles. Participants receive tutoring and participate in community service projects. Fifty-five percent of 4-H's budget comes from the private sector.
