With all due apologies to “A Visit from St. Nicholas” . . .
Twas the vote before Christmas, when all through the House,
Not a creature was stirring . . . Harry Reid, you louse!
Republicans were numbed by a vision so rare,
Obama scoring points, off the confusion up there.
Conservatives were nestled – just waiting to be led,
Outside the beltway, an angry grassroots to be fed.
Poor Speaker Boehner and McConnell with his grimace,
Knowing they’d pushed Tea Partiers well past their limits.
When down Pennsylvania Avenue, there arose a clatter,
The Prez, Jay Carney – oh so much chatter!
Away to the window the media did dash,
Mission accomplished, Boehner done trashed.
The moon over the Hill, but no new-fallen snow,
Al Gore will tell you, it’s global warming, don’t you know?
When what to the public’s eyes should appear,
But a two-month tax fix, it’s meaning . . . not so clear.
With the Senate Majority Leader so unlively – not always so quick,
I knew in a moment it was Harry – what was his trick?
More rapid than eagles Schumer and Durbin soon came,
And they whistled and shouted – it’s Republicans to blame!
Now teachers! Now labor! Now middle-class neighbors!
Now Occupy protestors! And fat cats with favors!
An election approaches – most certainly a brawl,
Vote them out! Vote them out! Vote them out all!
And so the members to their hometowns did fly,
Where they faced weary constituents, fed up well nigh.
And in their districts these members they knew,
They’d lose a pound of flesh – maybe even two.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard a roar,
Air Force One en route to Oahu’s shore.
As I turned my head and was turning around,
Down the plane POTUS came with a bound.
He was clad in suburban dad from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were neutral – focus-grouped to boot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
Tax relief, a Medicare fix, a Republican lash-back.
His eyes – how they twinkled!
His brow – not so wrinkled!
His poll numbers how merry!
Re-election? Sure, Barry!
He was slim though noticeably older, a right jolly fellow.
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
For despite the wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
He seemed too dismissive of the 10 months ahead!
He sprang to his plane and his team gave a whistle,
And he flew into the sunset – a presidential missile.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight.
Happy Christmas to all . . . this sure worked out right!